The dark web has confirmed that the Lunch Ladies are an official selection of the Hollywood Horrorfest after sending programmers what they are now calling a "lucky" severed finger.
Apparently, the ladies have gotten into loads of festivals all over the world by lying, cheating and praying to Satan. This situation was no different but had a surprise twist ending.
Said Seretta, using a weed whacker to trim her ample armpit hair: "We wanted to gently remind Hollywood Horrorfest what would happen if they didn't select us; so we thought hey, why not send a severed finger? Here's the shocking surprise... those sick and twisted nutters loved it!"
LouAnne, organizing their Johnny Depp VHS tapes for the umpteenth time, continued: "They not only weren't threatened, they were impressed. They called us right up and said - "Lunch Ladies, you're in!" Thanks Horrorfest for the selection! P.S. Please send the finger back."
*When asked where the finger came from, both ladies pointed the finger at Mr. Kinselli, the shop teacher, saying he found it and let them borrow it. For emergencies.
The 4th Hollywood Horrorfest runs from July 27-29
Details on when the Lunch Ladies screen to follow!
Follow Hollywood Horrorfest at:
Website: www.hollywoodhorrorfest.com
Instagram: @hollywoodhorrorfest
Twitter: @HHorrorfest
Facebook: @HHorrorfest
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